The Trouble With Supermen

Darkness reigns over the city. I laugh, enjoying the beautiful cruelty of my own creation. Suddenly, a man flies in, and he's dressed in the most garish outfit I have ever seen. Honestly, what sort of a man wears tights? He grabs me, flies away and then drops me down on a rooftop about two miles away. The indignity! "You'll be safe here, Miss," he says. Safe? I was in no danger from my creation. I turn around and slap him.

"Listen up and listen good. I don't know who you are, and I don't care. How dare you interrupt me?!"

"But you were in danger. And, as I am a Superhero, it is my job to save anyone in danger; besides, saving someone so cute is a great perk."

A hero, great. That's the last thing I need, to have some idiot bumbling around, trying to spoil my plans for destruction. The city would be mine! Wait; did he just hit on me? So much like a man. Now, there has got to be a way to use this to my advantage. "A superhero, hmm? I don't believe in them."

"What? How can you not believe in Superheroes? Of course they exist!"

"No, no, I don't believe they do. And therefore, you cannot be a superhero, sorry. You must be suffering from delusions of grandeur, you poor thing. Now, go back to the hospital and get out of that costume." He's sputtering, the poor idiot. My plan is working. Now for the final blow. "You don't exist. Get away from me." He takes one last look at the chaotic city and slowly, slowly flies away. Hah! Take that, asshole! Now then, where was I? Oh yes; now I remember. Darkness, my darkness shall reign in this city for as long as I have breath.

On the back of an abandoned manila folder

What was it that you told me
Once so long ago?
"Life slips through our fingertips
like newly melted snow."

I watched you try to shape my world
a blower at the glass
and though I watched your dreams sail by
you never saw them pass

Then suddenly your breath was gone
with quick but searing pain
I watched your life disintegrate
cotton candy in the rain

Batman vs. Ironman

Words cannot explain how incredibly awesome this is.



Is there room enough this summer for two billionaire playboy superheroes with gadgets, women, a sidekick, and a loyal butler? Hell yes.

Speed Racer and the Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, or, "Holy Crap, Was That a Ninja?"

First off, I've been horribly negligent as of late, and for that, I am sorry. I was insanely busy and stressed out over finals and the end of the semester, but that's hardly an excuse. I'd say that I'll never do it again, but that's not true...I almost certainly will. However, I will promise that I'll try to never do it again. I'm sorry. All I can say is mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
In other, more fun news, I saw Speed Racer with some friends this past Saturday. I'm still not entirely sure how to describe the experience. It was simultaneously the worst and best movie that I've ever seen. Ever. The closest I can come to verbalizing it is when you're watching a movie that's so bad, it's good. But that's not it either, exactly, because underneath Speed Racer, there's a feeling of deliberateness that never actually comes to the surface. It isn't like some parodies where they break the fourth wall to remind you that it's a parody, because that never happens in the movie. It never breaks character or changes tone at all. Part of me still isn't sure that it was deliberate, but with lines like "you don't ride the track; it rides you," "Racer X, the harbinger of dooooom!!!!" and my personal favorite "holy crap, was that a ninja?" it's too ridiculous not to be.
Parody or not, the movie is also rife with drug references, and I'm convinced, that if it wasn't made by someone on LSD, it was certainly inspired by a past trip. The tracks are psychedelic in their design, there are several points where the screen is literally just a kaleidoscope of pretty colors, and at the very end the colors of the credits change very slowly. Not to mention, of course, that someone had to be high on something to come up with the idea for the movie in the first place. I can just imagine the pitch, "It's the story of Speed Racer, an old Japanese cartoon that's widely mocked in America, only we'll use real actors, add in a smidgen more plot, and have computer generated backgrounds for everything!" You can't possibly tell me that drugs played no part in this movie. My friends and I walked out of the theater wondering if we'd been drugged by some psychotropic gas that came down from the ceiling, because that was the only way we could explain what had just happened. It was very entertaining, but unfortunately, it still left me with a few questions, like: What kind of parents would name their kids Rex, Speed, and Sprittle? Who would name a monkey Chim-Chim? If Sparky is a member of the Racer family, why does he have an accent? And of course, why isn't racing actually like that?

Duh, Duh, duh-duh-duh! (Iron Man, ramblings and review)

Happy belated Mother's Day, hope everyone had some good quality time with family. I went to see Iron Man. Don't worry, I didn't ditch my mother, in fact it was her idea to go. So after visiting my Grandma my dad headed of to work and my mom, brother and I piled into the silver mini van and drove to a nearby theater, killing time at several mattress and guitar stores on the way. (If you know my family, that actually does make sense.)

I never realized that before this movie many people didn't know Iron Man was a superhero, they just knew the Black Sabbath song. But backwards and daft as I am, I always knew Iron Man but never figured out the song was about the superhero.

My brother used to have a huge pack of superheroes from my uncle, so Keith and I made up our own stories involving the Thing, Magneto, a war-torn Spider-man, the Hulk and of course iron man long before any of them were movie stars.


The whole film is very well-done: effects were great, the plot was coherent and at times even compelling, and the actors fit very well into their parts. Of course the movie is perfectly set up for a sequel, but that's completely expected from the Marvel movies by now.

Oh, and why did my mom want to see Iron Man on Mother's Day? Because a few weeks ago, when it first came out and she wanted to go, my dad refused. He insisted on seeing Made of Honor instead. Yup, that's the household I live in.

Also, I'm sorry for the near-month of inactivity, I'll be posting a lot more now, I promise. I still blame this stagnation on work and my very sexy boyfriend. Speaking of whom, make sure you check the blog BSD, they post weekly if not more. Go to blastshieldsdown.blogspot.com (or just click the link under "Dreamers of Fish Dreams" at the top right corner of this page.) You won't be disappointed, unless you're looking for tentacle rape porn - I don't think that section is up and running just yet.