Oops!

Just wanted to write a quick post to help make up for my inconsiderate behavior towards Secrets: I'm sorry that I've made Kat bear the weight of the blog alone recently. I'm going to blame the lack of time on work, finals, and my sexy boyfriend, even though I know its been mostly my fault. Even now though, I should be snuggling up with Sayyid Kutb and Jose de Espronceda, I'm neglecting them for you, dear readers.

Before I go, I want to introduce you to a new prophet: sure he might be just another schizophrenic street cat, but do you really want to take that chance?

I can't even come up with a title for this...

For an English major, I feel remarkably incoherent most of the time. I have these ideas, and I know how to express them in words, but the words always come out jumbled up and tangled, like a box filled with yarn that some cat got into. That previous (and incredibly cliche) image is exactly what I'm talking about. As soon as my fingers hit the keys and I see my words on this glowing screen, I realize that that isn't what I want to say at all. What I think I mean and what I actually mean I have become two separate entities, and I'm not sure how to make them into one. Sometimes I'm not sure what language I'm expressing myself in, if any, and if I'm expressing myself at all. I'm effectively mute, and I don't know what that means, exactly.
Words used to be one of the easiest things in the whole damn world. As a child, I would take them apart, and string them back together again. Instead of sand or Lego castles, I built my castles out of words. They were a toy, and yet they were more than a toy. They were my security blanket, my favorite stuffed animal, my kiss goodnight, and my lullaby. For as long as I can remember, words were my reality.
Lately, however, I haven't been able to use words as well as I used to. It seems like they haven't had the same effect. They just don't fit anymore. I don't know what's changed, but I can't write and recognize my words as my own anymore. They feel cold and unfamiliar, like someone's changed them right in front of me. Maybe I don't understand my own ideas. Maybe I have less ability than I thought. I don't know, anymore. And I even if I did, I wouldn't know how to write it so that you'd understand.

Study Abroad!

So I got this in my inbox about half an hour ago:
"Congratulations Kat! You've been selected to participate in the Fall 2008 Border Studies Program! More information will be coming your way very soon. You will be receiving a formal acceptance letter in the mail very soon, as well as a packet of various forms to be filled out and returned to our office at EC and on the border! So stay tuned for
that!
I just wanted to say "Congratulations" and "Welcome to the Border
Studies Program!"
Talk to you soon!
Felicidades,
Cheryl"
I suppose jumping up and down and screaming might be a bit immature. So I'll settle for doing it in text: WOOOOOOO! Considering how awful my phone interview went, I'm shocked that I got in. Now all I have to do is worry about whether or not I have the money to go. All those hours "flipping" burgers and being yelled at (and hit on) by creepy old men are finally worth something! It still isn't entirely definite, but I'm going to celebrate anyway. Voy a viajar a Mexico! (y Texas.)
Mexico (and Texas) here I come!